Funny Tweets

WILD HOMOSEXUAL ORGIES IN THE LINCOLN BEDROOM!!! (according to the email my grandma will be forwarding me tomorrow)

Well, Obama just lost the hate-filled Neanderthal vote

Straight people have been fucking up marriage for centuries. Maybe it's time we stepped aside.

Great. Ban gay marriage. Remember what happened during Prohibition? Now we're going to have everyone making bathtub gay marriages.

It's pretty awesome that President Obama supports gay marriage because that's a very brave stance for a Muslim to take.

"BEST WEEKEND EVER!" ~ The same stupid bitch on Facebook, at least twice a month...

I seriously thought the slang phrase 'This place is 'crackalackin!', actually meant 'This place is lacking white people'.

Old McDonald had a farm and it grew delicious, non-biodegradable french fries.

Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we're cool.

They say eye contact in job interviews is important, but try sticking a finger in the interviewer's eye and they always get mad.