@Luiki89
April 5th, 2013
I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style.
@N0pantz
April 5th, 2013
Behind every entitled shit-head kid is a parent who cuts the crusts off their sandwiches.
@mattytalks
April 5th, 2013
What idiot named it prozac instead of sadvil
@KKAlThani
April 5th, 2013
"Good evening, I will be your waiter for tonight. What would you like to Instagram?" - how waiters should greet people
@NeinQuarterly
April 5th, 2013
At Starbucks I order under the name Godot. Then leave.
@DamienFahey
April 5th, 2013
Nice try, blocked number but I don't even answer the phone for people I know.
@FilthyRichmond
April 5th, 2013
The cashier at McDonald's was more than happy to warm up some Diet Coke for my baby's bottle.
@JennyJohnsonHi5
April 5th, 2013
I bet sex with a stingray is like fucking a giant pancake.
@rejectedjokes
April 5th, 2013
Jurassic Park- making you afraid of vibrating water since '93.
@nedroid
April 5th, 2013
Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with "mix-ins." Hot Mash Potatery
